3 Under 3!

3 Under 3!

By Brett Mendez, MS, APRN, NNP‑BC • VitalStart Pediatrics, A Professional Nursing Corporation

When I first heard the phrase “three under three,” I thought it sounded extreme — something reserved for superhero parents. Now that I’m living it, I can confirm: it’s equal parts magic, mayhem, and chaos. And with just two months to go until I no longer have 3 under 3 and my oldest will turn 3, I feel like this is the perfect time to reflect back on this past year’s challenges, surprises, and triumphs.

Having three children so close in age means that life runs at full speed. Mornings are a blur of breakfast, shoes, daycare bags and lost pacifiers, while evenings feel like synchronized chaos as we juggle dinner, baths, and bedtime routines.

Life looks very different for our family of 5 compared to when it was just my Me, my husband, and our first-born. Time is not always spent doing what we want, and its not always fairly divided amongst the children. I previously took pride in making sure my son’s baby book was completely up-to-date with the most recent pictures and milestones. Now, I’m lucky if I’m able to remember to jot down one of their first words in hopes I can update And yet, even on the hardest days, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The Challenges: Finding Balance in the Mayhem

Parenting little ones back-to-back comes with its share of exhaustion. Between sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, and the constant background noise of toys, laughter and crying, balance can feel out of reach, especially when you’re also working full-time or going to school. Even without other external factors like work or school, learning to balance time between your children, your spouse, and family can sometimes feel overwhelming.

The truth is, it’s impossible to give 100% to everything all the time. But that’s okay. What I’ve learned is that balance doesn’t mean equal time — it means intentional time. Being fully present during the moments that matter most is what counts.

The Rewards: Triple the Love

For every chaotic moment, there’s one that reminds me why this season is worth it. Watching three tiny humans grow, interact, and form bonds with each other is an incredible gift. Their laughter fills the house, their curiosity keeps life interesting, and their unconditional love has taught me more about patience and perspective than any degree or career could.

There’s also a quiet pride in showing my children that dedication — to both family and profession — can coexist. It’s not about perfection, but about showing up every day, even when it’s hard.

Tips from a Full-Time Working Dad of Three

After plenty of trial and error (and coffee), here are a few lessons that have helped me survive and thrive as a dad of three under three:

1. Structure helps — flexibility saves.
   Routines create stability for little ones, but adaptability keeps you sane when the plan falls apart. If there is only one take away I have from this whole 3 under 3 experience (Or even parenting at all) is that you can never get too comfortable with the routine because it is constantly changing. Nothing ever truly stays the same forever and your normal schedule/routine today will likely look very different 2, 3, and 6 months from now.

2. Lean on your village.
   Whether it’s your partner, family, friends, or childcare, teamwork is everything. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I think this was one of my biggest adjustments going from 1 to 3 children, because with our first, we wanted to be in control of everything and tried to rely on help as little as possible because we wanted to do it ourselves. This is just not practical when juggling more than one child.

3. Find small moments of connection.
   A few minutes of undistracted play or conversation means more to your child than you realize. Remember to make time for each child to have one-on-one time with you if possible. For me, this was a very hard concept to grasp. I would find that I was missing my toddler, and missing out on some of his special moments because I was busy with the babies.

4. Protect your mental and physical health.
   Parenting burnout is real. Take time to reset, even if that just means a quiet cup of coffee before the day begins.

5. Give yourself grace.
   There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Also, it’s completely normal to have a harder time bonding with your second and third child compared to the first. You don’t always have the sweet, quiet, bonding moments that you had when it was just one child. This meant we had to purposefully carve out time for the new babies to have those special boding moments.

Final Thoughts: The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short

Parenting three children under three has been the most challenging, rewarding, and transformative experience of my life. The sleepless nights and scattered routines are temporary, but the memories we’re creating are forever.

So to every parent in the thick of it: you’re doing better than you think. Someday, the chaos will fade, and what remains will be the laughter, love, and lessons that made it all worthwhile.